♪ Shame ♪
♪ Shame, shame ♪
♪ Shame ♪
♪ Shame, sh-shame ♪
- ♪ Shame ♪ - Whoo!
♪ On you ♪
♪ Shame on you, you haven't got a dime ♪
♪ Shame on you, for havin' such a good time ♪
♪ Shame on you, you're a disgrace to everyone ♪
♪ Shame on you, you're havin' too much fun ♪
♪ You're havin' too much fun ♪
- Oh, yeah! - Yo! Hook 'em, 'Horns, baby!
We are on our way to the biggest party of the world.
Yeah!
♪ K-O-K-L-A ♪
Red River rock 'n' roll request line. This is Stretch.
That's for Glen.
And could you tell the girls at Messy High
just to leave him alone?
Got it, and I believe it!
Glen is off-limits now.
This is Stretch on an open request line on K-OKLA in Burkburnett, Texas,
Red River rock 'n' roll from the tiptop...
of the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex.
Let's give Stretch a call and see what she says.
- What kinda name is Stretch? - Who knows?
Red River rock 'n' roll request line. This is Stretch.
Yo, Stretch! This is the one and only Buzz.
And Rick the prick!
And from all the senior boys at Wheeler High to all the senior girls...
who are so stuck-up, boy, you're on the road to nowhere.
Oh, you mean we're on the road to nowhere?
No, baby.
We're on the road to Texas/O.U. weekend in Dallas!
You're on the road to nowhere.
- Hook 'em, 'Horns, baby. Whoo! - Whoo!
Hmm. Real funny, guys.
Okay, you wanna hang up now? Tyin' up the line. Hey, come on.
- No way, baby! - We got a lot more to travel!
Hey, check it out, dude. Let's play a little chicken with the farmer here.
- Whoo! Come on, baby. Come on. - Whoo-hoo! Come on!
- Come on, man. - Whoo.
Come on!
Whoo! Whoo!
- Whoo-hoo! - Hot damn!
Whoo-hoo! That was great! That was great!
- You got that, babe? Hot line? - You better stick with us, baby!
Yeah. Later, sports. Just hang up, okay?
No way!
Hook 'em, 'Horns! Whoo-oo!
- L.G.! - Damn it, I'm tryin', darlin'.
Don't call me "darlin" ', damn it.
♪ And when the sun goes down and the moon comes up ♪
♪ I turn into a teenage goo goo muck ♪
♪ You better duck when I show up ♪
♪ The goo goo muck ♪
Yeow, it's 8:11 Texas time on a Friday night.
I know nobody's listening because y'all are all zooming,
But I got a shot of hot rock 'n' roll for you anyway.
K-OKLA, Red River rock 'n' roll request.
What is, Stretch? This the Buzz again.
I am... not again. Hang it up, lame-o. Go call your mother.
Yeah, yeah. Talk dirty. But this is for Rick the prick.
He wants to hear, "Bright Lights, Big Titties."
Wrong! I don't want to hear it, I want to see it!
"Bright Lights, Big Titties!" Yee!
Damn. L.G.? L.G., get in here, please.
Yeah!
Whoo!
Ohh.
The fuck?
Are you crazy?
Back up, pig fucker!
Come on. Hurry up. Get out of here!
- Oh, my God! - They gotta hang up.
Come on, hang up! Hang up!
Shit! What the fuck?
- What the hell is that? - Some kind of geek.
- The geek's got a... - Come on. What is that?
Holy shit!
Come on. Get out of here. Where'd he come from?
I don't believe it! Shit!
Just keep driving. Come on.
- Hey, let's go. Come on. - What the hell is that?
- Go on! What's he doing? - Goddamn it!
What's he got there?
Keep it moving!
- What? - Come on. What is that?
I don't believe this shit...
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh!
- Oh! Come on, Get out of here. - Holy shit!
He's got a chainsaw! He's got a fuckin' chainsaw!
- That sounds like a buzz saw. - Buzz saw?
'HEY, hang up, man.
Hang up. Hang up, hang up, hang up, hang up, hang up, hang up, hang up,
hang up, hang up, hang up!
Get him. Shoot the bastard. Get him. Shit!
I'm gonna shoot that motherfucker, yeah!
Shit! Keep back! God!
Son of a bitch! Shit!
Missed us, assholes.
♪ You make yourself sad ♪
♪ You can't change fate ♪
♪ But don't feel so bad ♪
♪ Enjoy it while you can ♪
♪ It's just like the weather ♪
♪ So quit complaining brother ♪
♪ No one lives forever ♪
What? It just cut off.
Did you do that? What happened?
It's like super feedback.
Just put the underwoofer across the overflapper.
I don't know.
Just went dead air.
You go get some pictures...
Watch out...
All right, keep the tension on that line.
Hey, loosen that chain. We need some slack.
Easy! Easy!
You, get out of there!
Cowboy, get away from there. This is an accident scene.
The area is restricted. Not gonna tell you agai...
It's all... it's all right, Wendell.
Lieutenant Enright, sir. We heard you might be headed this way.
Uh, did you come over for the big game?
You know why I'm here.
Yes, sir, something about the chainsaw killers.
Your brother's kids killed...
But that was 14 years ago, sir, way down in South Texas.
Now, these are other kids.
This is just an accident. Just a couple of wild punks, out raising hell.
Yup.
One of those boys so wild, sawed his own head off going 90 mile per hour.
Hell.
Hell's exactly what they raised.
Uh, no, sir. That information's off the record.
You know, sir, this is always a pretty hairy weekend for Dallas.
Whole lot of folks come to town, don't give a damn about football.
You know, they just want to go blood crazy for a few... riot.
You know what riot means, you were a ranger.
Can't hardly keep 'em down by law, and if...
If you go around promotin' this chainsaw...
Try to speak plain.
Saves time.
I have authority from the D.A.'s office to put you right back on the next plane
to Amarillo.
Well, you just do that, son. I'd like to see that authority.
All right, Lieutenant Enright, what's your deal?
All right.
I'm gonna ask some questions.
Put it in the press. Get it in the news.
Any information about this accident,
and maybe, uh, some witnesses.
Yes, sir, I, uh... I know some old boys at the paper.
We'll get your story out for ya.
Brazos.
Bra-zos.
Bra-zos!
Remember the Alamo, cowboy.
Look, Ma, a whore! Wanna fuck!
Asshole.
You need a witness? I'm a witness.
Uh, this Mercedes? I think I was talkin' to those kids when it happened.
- No way was that an accident. - You saw it.
No, but I heard it. You can listen. It's here on tape.
- Oh, shit. - Come on!
Whoo!
Regulations. We gotta record all the call-ins.
End of the night we wipe the tapes, but I kept this one...
Just 'cause... it just got to me.
We got professionals...
I didn't know exactly what I'd heard, but I read your story,
and I think what you're lookin' for is on this tape.
You can just not fool with it.
You can slow it down now.
Um, you're just a joke in this morning's paper.
"Cowboy Chases Chainsaws 14 Years."
"Dallas Police Refuse Comment."
Like you're... you know, hung up on somethin' crazy.
But I believe you. I might be the only believer you got.
'Cause it's right here. What is?
Right on here, those kids gettin' killed.
Now, this is evidence, sort of, right?
Yeah, it's time for you to go home.
No, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Look.
I came here because I could help you. I deejay this dumb show
on K-OKLA up in Burkburnett...
But people listen to me all across North Texas...
Now, I could put you on the radio.
Get people to believe you. Get you some help.
You're gonna get in my way.
Don't you get in my way.
No, I'm already right in the middle of this.
This is my chance to stop playin' head-bangin' music
and do something real.
Well, I don't need anybody to stand with me.
- All right? - You can't do it alone.
I got a perfect willingness to die.
That gives me a moral on this bunch of mad dogs.
They live on fear. They thrive on it.
I ain't got no fear left.
Adios.
I ain't got no fear, Lord.
- Hard ass. - Hard ass? Me?
Well, maybe a semihard ass, but I got a soft heart.
Looky.
- Built you a little fry house. - L.G.!
- What, darlin'? - Oh, L.G.
Okay, everybody. Hush up. Listen up, y'all.
The Texas/O.U. chili cook-off champion is from...
- Norman, Oklahoma? No. - No!
Waco, Texas? Mm-mm.
- Tulsa? Nope. - Pardon me.
Austin? Uh-uh.
He's Dallas's favorite caterer... I think he's kinda cute...
The Last Round-up Rolling Grill chef,
Drayton Sawyer!
Drayton! Drayton! Drayton! Drayton! Drayton! Drayton!
It's the second year in a row.
This year, Drayton,
you've got to tell the secret of that fabulously tasty chili!
No secret. It's the meat.
Don't skimp on the meat.
I-I got a real good eye for prime meat.
Runs in the family.
Whoop, whoop. One of those hard-shell peppercorns.
I gotta say, I love this town.
This town loves prime meat!
So, there's the big story. Texas clobbers Oklahoma in chili.
This is Stretch, your fearless reporter,
live from Dallas.
Now, be sure to watch your drinkin' and drivin'...
on this wild and woolly Texas/O. U. weekend.
This is Stretch, on K-OKLA Ra...
Cut-Rite.
Naw, 'Ceil, I ain't seen Fletcher.
Well, last Friday.
Well, hell, he's on the road, then.
Well, don't believe me, then. Fine.
'Ceil.
No.
I'll be with you in just a minute, sir.
Now, you're as good and mean as a sting bat, 'Ceil.
No, hell, don't call back.
No, don't you call back. I got a business here,
and Fletcher ain't none of my business.
Damn!
What can I do you for?
But don't you want to test 'em? There's gas in them.
Give them suckers a time or two.
Oh, my achin' banana.
Damn, what is he doing?
Now, this...
is very hard to believe.
I'd like you to play that tape, Missy.
Come all the way up here to Burkburnett, no shit!
Yeah.
- Oh, you wanna hear it now. - I wanna hear it on the radio.
- On your show. - Uh-uh.
I don't think it'd be legal to do that.
F.C.C. regulations... those things.
Well, you just figure out how to do it, and do it.
You bend the rules, I don't know.
- Why? - Because the killers are here.
Kill sites have been clustered all over Northeast Texas the last two years.
The laws, they shy away from piecin' it together as murder.
They call it accidents, disappearances.
You got that last slaughter on tape. You play it on the radio.
Maybe then the laws will stop trying to shut me up and start helping me.
Besides, it'll give you something real to do.
You said you were gonna do this alone.
I need your help, Missy.
Well, you can call me Stretch, Mr. Enright.
Well, now, you can call me Lefty.
It's mighty nice doin' business with you.
- Thanks. - All right.
You have a nice day, now.
You, too.
Number one again!
Drayton did it again. Number one.
♪ Number one, the Sawyers are number one ♪
Number one.
K-O-K-L-A
So here's a special request we're doing this afternoon and tonight.
You steady listeners know we're playing this every hour.
This is for Lefty.
Hog fucker! Son of a bitch!
Last Round-up Rolling Grill. We're still number one.
I told you, boys, and I told you.
Don't call on this phone. Now damn it, get off.
What? What's on the radio?
Ah, now, don't bullshit me. I can't...
I won't... All right, what station?
This ain't no joke, boy?
Then, I'm tunin' it in.
You-you nap-haired idiot.
You-you've done it again!
Ah, you coon shits. You-you fudge packers,
You'll be the death of me yet!
Missed us, assholes.
Buzz!
- K-OKLA. - Oh, God!
Come on, Lefty. Where are you?
This concludes the broadcast day for K-OKLA, in Burkburnett, Texas,
Red River rock 'n' roll.
In New York, it's 1:00 a.m., still, fun city.
In L.A., 10:00 at night, party time.
But deep in the heart of Texas, It's 12:00 midnight.
Ain't nothin' goin' on.
That's another cussing caller.
Your little ass gonna be in big trouble over that tape, girl.
Nope.
Sure got a lot of complaints, darlin'.
L.G., it was a request, right? It's listed in the logs as a request.
People complain about the request every night, right?
Uh-huh.
Want to go for coffee at the Big Steak?
Nope.
Huh, I guess you're waitin' on this guy Lefty?
L.G...
Good night, L.G.
Good night.
Goddamn it!
Shit!
♪ Mind warp ♪
K-OKLA, this is Stretch.
Hello?
♪ Stop ♪
Hello, Lefty?
♪ You hear that too ♪
♪ I lit a cigarette last loneliness ♪
♪ I left her body a mess ♪
♪ You can get away with murder out here ♪
♪ Did you ever run out of gas ♪
- L.G.? - ♪ Mind warp ♪
Lefty?
♪ Ooh, wild, wild West they're like a pal to me ♪
♪ Hear that big stereo sound of that... ♪
♪ Don't beat around the bush ♪
♪ 'Cause you don't know what's hidin' there now ♪
DO ya?
Lefty?
I-I wanna...
I want to buy some, uh, radio ad time.
Are you fuckin' crazy? We are closed!
Off the air till tomorrow. You'll have to just... come back...
No, but... but yeah, but...
Whoa! So, this is radioland, huh? The infinite turtle?
The waves through the ether fuzz roll on forever?
R-roar-r-r!
Can't close that. Hi, I know what you're thinking.
"This is weird. Hopin' I can handle it."
You know?
You're my fave.
Me and 'Bubba', my little brother, we listen to you every night.
Music is my life.
You know, you're my fave.
But I get too embarrassed to phone in my request.
It's too disembodied, you know?
But, uh... ahh!
Now that we're here in flesh and blood,
I could maybe make a request, and it'd still count, huh?
Uh-huh, sure. Mm-hmm.
Well, what about, uh...
Iron Butterfly?
You know, like uh, "In-A-Vida-Da-Gadda, Baby"?
Oh, it's heavy! You know, I've never been...
to a r-r-radio station before.
Do you think you could do me a tour, huh?
Tour?
All right.
Tour? Sure. Mm-hmm, sure.
But seriously quick. And it ends at the exit sign.
Oh, boy! Okay. Yeah, sure!
Okay, your tour. Here's your tour. Here's your tour.
- Here's a lamp. - Yeah, a lamp.
- Here's a typewriter. - Whoa!
- Rubber man. - Uh-huh. Rubber man. I like him.
Armadillo. Here's Mr. Shark.
Oh, Mr. Shark!
Here's some flowers.
- Rolodex. - Oh, very nice.
- Here's a lamp. - Oh!
And there's the exit sign. Tour's over.
Ahh.
"E-X...
I-T!"
Exit!
- Good night. - Oh! Good night!
Good night!
Good night.
Good night!
Hey, what about my request?
You know.
That Lefty request record?
Th-that you honked out today?
I loved that!
Let's see, uh...
Wh-what was it, anyway? The Rambo III soundtrack?
Gonna play it again?
Sure would like it.
Hey! Maybe I could get a copy!
And-and you could autograph it!
To, uh, uh, "A far-out fan"!
- What's in here? - Record vault.
Oh, where you keep the "golden oldies"?
And, uh... And maybe, uh... Maybe the new music's in Th...
Ow, not me, you dumb-ass!
Get the girl! Get the girl!
Ow, ow, ow, ow, 0w, ow, 0w, ow, ow, ow, ow!
He dented my plate! Ow, my brain is burnin'!
'Nam flashback! 'Nam flashback! Ohh.
Owww!
Leatherface, you bitch, I'll...
Look what you did to my Sonny Bono wig 'do!
Oh, goddamn, I can't believe it.
You got to buy me a new plate cover!
You got to buy me a new plate cover, Leatherface.
Ohh!
Oh.
Oh, he's going to send me back to the V.A. hospital,
with this dent in my plate.
Well, at least he didn't mess me up.
Dog will hunt. Get that bitch, Leatherface!
Get that bitch!
Dog will hunt.
Go away!
No-o-o-o!
Shit. Humble Pie!
Hurry up, Leatherface! Hurry up! Get that bitch!
Go away!
Rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain!
Music is my life!
They live on fear. They live on fear. They live on fear.
They live on fear.
♪ The ghost inside your haunted head ♪
Stretch, darlin', you know the door's unlocked?
Hey!
- What the shit? - Hey!
L-lick my plate, you dog click!
What the fuck you think you're doin' in here,
you crazy-lookin' little son of a bitch?
Get out of here!
Shit!
Time for incoming mail!
Ho Chi Minh!
A-one, and a-two, and a-three!
Go, you little bitch!
Go away! Leave me alone!
No, no, no, no, no, please, don't!
Incoming mail!
No, no, no, please, don't! No!
No, no, please, God! Stop it!
No, no, please, God!
Stop it! God, no!
No, no, please, God!
Are you mad at me?
How mad at me are you?
You're not really mad at me.
How good are you?
Huh?
Get that bitch, Leatherface! Get that bitch!
How... good...
are... you?
Oh.
Really?
Oh. Are you really, really... good?
You're really, really good.
You're really good.
You're the best.
Oh, no!
No, no!
No, God!
No, please, God!
No, God!
Oh, God, oh, God!
Leatherface.
Did you get her, 'Bubba'? Did you get that bitch?
She... she was my fave.
But she knew.
And now nobody knows.
Oh!
Look what you did to my plate, you bitch!
You got her? Did you get her good?
Hey. Slap me five.
I got one, too.
A bonus body!
Look at that beef.
Help me get it out of here.
Whoa!
Ooh!
Giddyap!
No. They'll get away.
No, no. They'll get away.
They can't get away.
Goddamn it, Lefty. You're late.
Damn it, Lefty.
Oh!
Ugh!
Stretch!
Lefty?
Stretch!
Hold on!
Grab onto something! Hold onto it!
Lefty, they came! Where were you?
I had to do it. Damn, I used you, girl.
I'm here now. Grab hold of this.
Grab hold of this. Now, don't you cry, little sister. I'm here now.
Come on. I'm here now. You can get it. Come on, now.
You got it. Come on.
- Aah! - Come on! Grab it!
Oh, my God.
O Lord...
Help me beat this stranger that walks beside me...
and takes away my strength.
Lord, you show me the end.
Show me what I fear, so I don't fear it no more.
It's the devil's playground.
I'm bringin' it down! Down to Hell!
Bring it all down!
Hate to say it, but that hillbilly hog
you boys got earlier
is the top catch tonight!
That's mine, my hit! Not Bubba's. Me! Me!
Oh, bust it up!
Wanna go to the movies? No crowds.
Everybody's at the football parties. Huh?
Tonight's a washout.
Biggest meat-eater weekend of the month,
and we're gonna lose money on it.
Damn it all. Maybe just ought to quit.
Oh, yeah? Kiss my plate, Mr. Big Shot.
Maybe you forgot. This chromedome bankrolled this little business.
No lucky gook with a machete, no head wound.
No head wound, no fancy rolling grill and go-go.
Ain't no fool. Kiss it. Don't forget it.
Peel that pig and slice him thick.
- That's my sweet pea. - Get them hogs on the grill.
Big pre-game brunch tomorrow means a ton of croissant sandwiches.
Oh, I love this town.
Hey, you nitwit. Get back in here and get this grill goin'.
'"Oh! Oh!
No. No. No good.
No good.
Come on, Bubba. The Cook's out here,
and he's chewin' ass like it was steak!
You gotta run for that money now. Chase that dollar. Go fast to catch it.
You dumb baboozer. Too dumb to even close...
I'm tired of kicking your asses.
What are you doing? You trying to hide something?
Well, get that eyeball pate workin'.
Hey, you coon shit, where you goin'? We need the club sandwiches...
Help. Help me. Please.
Please help me.
Can you help me get out of here?
What is... Put that down. Put that down.
Put that down! What is that?
Is it wet? It's wet. Put it down.
My darlin'.
Darlin'. Darlin'.
Don't be scared, darlin'.
Oh, no, L.G.
Oh, no! Oh, no!
L.G.!
Oh, my God!
L-G-I they got you, too?
Oh, L.G.!
We got to get you all loose.
I guess I'm fallin' apart on you, honey.
No!
Navy!
Shit.
L.G.
I love you.
Hey, get me those lawyers.
Legal meat, yum!
Legal meat, yeah!
Bubba, you idiot! Get your ass over here.
- You fucked up again. - You fucked up again.
He says, "Hey, you get me those lawyers. Legal meat, y'all."
Our valuable kill time wasted
runnin' down them coked-up pencil necks.
And not a good chop on the whole bunch.
I pick the vittles. Get it?
I. Me. Nobody but me.
Bubba, you home wreckin'...
Busted again, huh? That's the main support beam...
Fuck, you idiots! You're fucked...
Look what your brother's clone now. You coon shit.
You cut the main support beam. And this is what happens.
Of course this is what happens.
That pig's ruined!
Dirty meat don't cut it.
Family standards only require the best meat in town.
More money lost.
I never, never, never get a break.
Work. Work night and day...
Presenting myself to the people, selling, selling.
You pair of prima Donnas fool around here and listen to the radio all day...
And... sawing down your own house.
Shake it all out!
Bring it all down!
Bury the devil!
May the Lord have mercy on our souls.
Get that thing out of here.
Maybe it cracked the main butane tank.
It's up there. Go look at it.
Taxes, taxes.
Damn property taxes fuck up everything.
Crooks don't pay taxes. Politicians don't.
Movie stars don't.
It's the little guy that can't make a dime. He pays the taxes.
Small businessman gets it in the ass every time.
I ought to quit.
Right, it's, "junk, quit, dump this, cook show."
Sell off this turkey. It's time. It's in the air.
It's what the public wants.
I don't wanna hear that again.
It's 'Nam land!
Yeow!
Well, what the hell was that?
I don't know, boy. It looked like a big, big fireball.
Whoo!
'Nam land.
Napalm.
Fire in the hole. Whoo!
That's the main butane tank up there, Bubba.
Go look at it. Get your butt movin', boy.
Go up and look at it. Go look at it.
- I'll kick your little ass again. - Not now. It's 'Nam land.
- It's a hit. It's a bang. It's a smash. - Shut him up, Bubba!
Did you see it?
Well, did ya? Didn't ya?
Did ya? Didn't ya?
Go check it out, boy.
- 'Nam land! - Oh, shut up.
I told you to go check it out, boy, before I start kickin' your ass.
Some kind of crazy booger just skipped through here.
HOW big?
A big crazy booger. Let's haul butt, bro.
Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
Franklin.
Don't you cry, my brother.
I'm here now.
They can't do this.
They can't do this!
I'll take you back to Hell!
I'll take you to hell!
All right, all right!
Let's talk about it.
Okay, what, are you pissed off? What about me?
Listen, this is not gonna work out.
I'm trying to be open with you. It's nobody's fault. I just can't do this.
Let me go.
What the hell's going on here?
Bubba, you nap-haired idiot.
Get out of here.
Who's this?
I get it.
Are you the saboteur that's fuckin' up our house?
Trying to put me out of business?
Thousands of dollars lost.
- You got that kind of money? - No!
It's the deejay. My fave.
That dirty thing?
You told me you boys got her.
Well, yeah.
Leatherface killed her once already tonight.
But look. She's red-faced.
Bubba's been playing with her. Bubba likes her.
Bubba's got a girlfriend.
Bubba's got a girlfriend Bubba's got a girlfriend
Bubba's got a girl...
Is that what this is, Bubba?
The ol' cock and cunt swindle, huh?
S-C-E-X. Sex.
Hey, ya had to find out about it, didn't ya? Ya just couldn't leave it alone.
If you wanted to know about it so bad, why didn't you ask me?
Oh, you wanna know about it? You wanna know about it?
Ask me. Ask me!
It's a swindle, that's all. So don't get mixed up in it.
Help me. Help me.
Help me.
- Please help me. Please help me. - "Help me."
Please help me.
All right, Miss Priss, cut that out.
Leave him alone, damn it!
Bubba, you were supposed to finish her. Finish her now.
- Burn her like a rat. - Finish her.
- Burn her like a rat! - Finish her now.
Burn her like a rat! Burn her like a rat-rat-rat!
- Burn her like a rat! - Finish her now!
Finish her now, Bubba! Finish her!
Give me that.
Turn traitor for a piece of tail.
You got one choice, boy... sex or the saw.
Sex is, well, nobody knows.
But the saw, the saw is family.
- It's family. - Wait till granddad hears about this.
Take her away.
- She's in the garbage now. - Oh, no.
- Oh, no! - A-one...
And a-two...
And a-three!
Dinnertime, damn it! Let's go.
Eat and run. Eat and run.
There's a lot of hungry football fans to feed.
Hurry it up. Grandpa likes to go fast.
He always did. Come on. Come on.
Time eats money.
Those damn coon shits.
Oh, the weight of the family.
I stoop my shoulders taking care of my younger brothers.
It squashed the young years out of my life...
Like a can of cheese whip.
I wouldn't wish this rotten life off...
on a one-eyed ferret with mange.
You're the first girl Bubba's brought home to dinner.
She's a real special occasion.
Oh, Grandpa sure looks forward to meeting you.
He's 137 years old, but still as fast as Jesse James.
So don't you worry none.
Here comes Grandpa now.
God bless you, Grandpa.
Oh, it's playtime it's dinnertime
Your little boys have some left here for you
Yes, no, yes no, yes, we do
We love you We love you
Take it easy now. Take it easy with Grandpa.
- That's right, easy. - Get him over here easy.
That's right, boys.
Easy with Grandpa, now.
Oh, easy with Grandpa.
Oh, please, no.
Don't rattle him like that, damn it!
You're balling up his shit.
Grandpa's strict liquid diet keeps him as fresh as a rose.
Every spring the Atlas Rendering Company...
used to throw a big barbecue for Grandpa.
Oh, he was the master.
He was the one and only.
He showed us all the business.
We was raised in meat.
But then after the glory, here comes the shame.
Atlas went for automation.
The electrified cages, the cold steel chutes,
the air-powered head hammers.
It drove Grandpa crazy seeing things clone like that.
Let me go! Let me go!
Oh, that's all right. That's all right. It be over soon.
Get the hammer.
The crunching and the grinding...
He just couldn't stand it, no way.
So, that was all she wrote.
One morning, Grandpa just quit going in.
It was the shame.
The shame.
There's more work to do. Let's get on with it.
Right. Let's get on with it. Bingo!
Give me that. Get that tub over there in a hurry.
Do I have to do every damn thing around here?
You just sit...
Bubba, she's ready. Bring her on down.
- Oh, no! - Bring her on down, damn it!
No! No!
Bring her on down!
Ah! No! No, no, no!
- No! No! No! - Shh.
Help me. No, no, no!
Let me go! You gotta let me go! Please, help me!
- This will be one you won't forget. - Please, help me!
It's a real honor.
Grandpa, he's a one-hitter.
And it's just like goin' home.
Please, help me! No!
No, no, God!
Help me! Let me go!
Let me go! Let me go!
Help me, please!
Please, help me!
Let's go see Grandpa, boy!
- No, God! - Come on, bring the bitch down.
No, no!
Let me go!
Let go
Let me go! No! No!
No, no, no!
Here come the judge. Here come the judge.
No!
All right, now, don't ruin Grandma's favorite rug.
Be careful of the splatter. You gotta be careful of the splatter.
Oh, great Grandma...
- in chainsaw heaven. - No!
Oh, God!
Please, don't hoodoo the boy.
Hey, Grandpa, here's the big boy.
Look what Bubba brought ya.
Hey, Grandpa, Bubba's got somethin' to show ya here.
Look, a slurpy booty.
Hit her, Grandpa.
Let's see you do it now. Come on, Grandpa. You're the best.
- Hit her, Grandpa. - Come on.
Remember those beaves. Come on. One-hitter.
Hit her, Grandpa.
Come on, you...
Hit her. Hit that bitch. Hit that bitch.
Come on, Grandpa. You can do it. You're the best.
Ah, come on, Grandpa. You're the best.
Hit her Grandpa! Come on, Grandpa!
You're the best, Grandpa!
Hit that bitch, Grandpa. Hit her.
Come on, Grandpa. Hit her. Come on, Grandpa, you're the best.
Yeah!
Oh, that's good, isn't it, Grandpa?
Aw, Grandpa!
- That a boy, Grandpa. - Get that bitch now, Grandpa.
- Come on, Grandpa, you can do it. - Get her now, Grandpa!
No! No!
Hit that bitch. Hit that bitch.
Come on, Grandpa! You can do it!
Come on, Grandpa!
Oh, Grandpa, Let's get on with it.
Oh! All right. Slurpy booty time.
Bringing in the sheaves
We shall come rejoicing bringing in the sheaves
Bringing in the sheaves
- Oh, Shut up! - We will come rejoicing
- What the hell's going on here? - Bringing in the sheaves
Sowin' in the mornin'
Sowin ' seeds of kindness
Sowin' in the noontide
And the dewy eve
Waiting for the harvest
And the time of reaping
We shall come rejoicing
Bringing in the sheaves
Boys, boys, boys.
What the hell's goin' on here?
That the American way of entering a man's home,
singing like that?
Oh, I get it. The old pressure game, huh?
Boys...
Ya never should have been doin' this.
Who sent ya? Those sissies over at Delmar Catering?
That chickenshit Burrito Man bunch?
Well, I don't care, ya hear? Yeah, that's right.
It's a dog-eat-dog world.
And from where I sit, there just ain't enough damn clogs.
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the damn kitchen.
Hey, how much, huh? Let's make a deal right here.
Real cash money.
Just you and me, huh? I don't care who sent ya.
I'm the lord of the harvest.
Who's that? Some new health food bunch?
Come on. Come on.
Is there any money in it, you wanna know?
Yeah, right here. How much? Huh? How much?
- Lefty. - Sister.
Lefty!
Brazos!
Run, sister, run!
Small businessman...
always, always, always gets it in the ass!
Sure... sure took care of my "hams."
Saved a trip to the hospital.
Ah, looks... looks bad.
Sure burned my beans bad on that one.
Maybe it's time to just shut down.
Time to shut down the show, yeah.
Yeah, pull the plug. Come here, Nubbins.
Where... where's that old "fuck you, Charlie," huh?
That... that little "just in case," baby.
Where'd you put it?
Ah!
Yeah, there it is.
Man... man builds a good, sturdy trade...
by hookin' and crookin'.
And then... kerplooey!
The gods just kick him right in the balls.
Oh, no. Not this time.
No! No!
I got the last laugh right here.
Goin' down now.
Goin' down! Goin' down now!
Whoa!
Here I come, you hog bitch!
You hog bitch!
Dead end, girl. Dead end now.
Dead end city.
Look at my face.
Look. Look!
It's like death eatin' a cracker, idn't it?
Huh? Huh?
No!
Get away from her! Get away!
Yeow! Don't touch her! No!
Grandma!
No-o-o-o!
Grandma! Grandma!
Grandma!
You killed her, you hog bitch!
Die!
Strange things happen to a man on the road
Strange things happen to a man who's alone
Doesn't matter where you come from
Doesn't matter where you wanna go
Doesn't matter if you're on your way home
Doesn't matter who you know
Strange things happen to a man on the road
Strange things happen to a man who's alone
Back home you got a solid life
That life don't mean a thing out here
Back home you got a loving wife
She can't hear you calling out here
Strange things happen
That you never heard about at home
Doesn't matter where you come from
Doesn't matter where you wanna go
Doesn't matter if you're on your way home
Doesn't matter who you know
Strange things happen to a man on the road
Strange things happen to a man who's alone
Strange things happen
That they never told you about at home
Strange things happen
That they never told you about at home